She Said / He Said

The phone rings and his roommate answers

"Hello?" she says
"Hi can I please speak with Bernard?" I say
"Sure. Is this Caroline?" she says

and that was the first time I called him. I had about 15 seconds to decide whether to hang up or hang on.


DOH!

(The rustle of a hand quickly covering the phone)

Now how the heck do you recover from a situation like that? Roommates: can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em…


"Hello?" he says
"Um, Hi Bernard, this is Shelley." I say.
I can't decide who's more embarrased he or I?

That's all I can remember of our first phone call. And I can't even remember why I called. Bernard?


Yeah, I think it was my Acura Integra. Our first date was at the movies. We went to see Grosse Point Blank. Fitting since we're both 80's children, though an odd choice for a first date: a movie about an assassin going back to his high school reunion? A little nuts…


It wasn't all about the car. After all, I accepted a ride home from the bar before I knew what kind of car you drove. And the movie was all about seeing John Cusack! But it was our second date that sealed the deal… do you remember what we did?


I just remember the ice cream. Mmmmm. I-C-E C-R-E-A-M. Was there something else in there? Oh yeah, Bordello of Blood! Sweets AND a bad vampire flick, what more could you ask for? So after that, why DID you go out with me again?


Because you kissed me. Ahhh! I know, the mushy stuff. But it's true. Okay, so you had me at the ice cream! I still wasn't entirely convinced though that I wanted a relationship. And admit it, neither were you. But we both know, it was all about the hockey.


I thought that taking you to the roller hockey rink would be the perfect way to get you to run screaming in the other directions. Unfortunately, I happened to pick the only woman who was into watching grown men run into each other with big sticks in there hands, and enjoyed the smell of a over-grown boys locker room. A match made in heaven, don't you think?


Well. When you put it that way…uh, no. Of course I was taken aback by the roller hockey. Is that "real" hockey? Just kidding. I enjoy playing hockey with you. And I have to say you have improved over the years. I think I may be better, though.