Introduction

Cyberspace is not naturally a "warm" environment. It is an emotionless electronic communication system. All the warmth and emotion that is created online has to be created by human beings working hard sitting at their keyboards. The other person you are chatting with appears online as an electronic connection number with a nickname. You can't hear them or see their face when they speak to you. In such a soulless environment it is easy to forget that at the other end of the terminal is another human being with all the same range of powerful emotions as you have.

Sometimes things go wrong in cyberspace, usually in places where people meet and chat with strangers, like chat rooms or discussion groups. Someone may start harassing or stalking you for a number of reasons. Sometimes people get into arguments that become vicious. They make enemies who don't forget what was said and who come back again next day to get revenge. Other times they meet a friend online in a chat room who falls in love with them and becomes obsessional, pestering them with messages and emails, and becoming furious when their attentions are not appreciated. Or you may simply meet a bully type online, who likes to push people around and send abusive messages and who enjoys terrorizing you.

Cyberspace is a place of lowered inhibitions. It encourages people to say things they might not have said if they were face to face with you. This is partly because people are anonymous online (you don't know who is talking to you) and also because people talking to one another online are far away from each other physically. Anonymity and physical distance mean that people online are protected from the immediate consequences of their actions. A person can type words to you that if they said them face to face might provoke you to slap their face!

Face to face, people are careful how they talk to strangers because they don't know what offends them. So usually when two strangers meet there is a period of "feeling out", where both parties are very respectful and cautious, as they establish how they each like to be spoken to. In online chat this element is often missing. Online people are often very direct with strangers regardless, because after all, "so what if I make a mistake and offend the other person? What is that person going to do?"

Women looking for friendship or even romance with men online will often find themselves engaged in conversations that rapidly become very directly (and often crudely) sexually oriented, at a pace much faster then would ever happen in real life. You might find yourself asking "How can he SAY that to me when he has only just met me?" The answer to your question is that this is online chat.

The wise approach to avoid offending people and making enemies fast is to treat everyone ONLINE exactly the same as you would OFF-LINE. Try to treat them as if you were chatting face to face with them. Because in fact there ARE consequences of being rude and offending people online. But bear in mind that you may do nothing wrong and still get targeted for harassment or stalking online. You might be targeted for hate-communications on racial grounds, ethnic grounds, gender grounds, age grounds, or simply because you were "there" and the other person is angry.

Harassment is a repetitive form of abuse, deliberately aimed at you, with the purpose of causing you distress. Under US law "stalking" means that you are being both followed around, and threatened with physical harm.

What kinds of harassment can happen online?

When it starts you may just ignore it and hope it goes away. But what if it doesn't? What if you have become the target of a malicious and obsessive abuser? What kind of things might happen to you online?

You may get sent abusive communications, including racist or other prejudiced comments, via chat or e-mail, or you may get sent obscene or disgusting pictures.

• You may get threatened with death or bodily harm.
• You may get followed around like a lovesick puppy and pestered over a prolonged period of time by someone who tells you they are in love with you.
• You may experience a series of electronic attacks on your internet connection, disconnecting you over and over again.
• You may get sent electronic viruses to try to cause problems on your computer.
• You may see nasty, cruel or defamatory things written about you on someone's web site or in a post they make to a discussion group.

What should you do if you are getting harassed or cyberstalked?

If ignoring the harasser isn't working, consider the following good advice:

• Contact SafetyEd International for assistance by sending an e-mail explaining your problem. SafetyEd has expert staff who can advise you about electronic harassment at all levels. When they receive your request for help they will amyl you a questionnaire to assist them in advising you how to proceed. They will be able to offer you advice about identifying the harasser, protecting your privacy online, reporting abuse to internet service providers, and legal information on stalking and harassment.
• Don't delete the communications (e-mails, chat logs, posts etc.). SafetyEd may need more information about them to identify who is doing this to you.
• Try not to panic.
• If you feel in any immediate physical danger of bodily harm, call your local police department.

How can you minimize the risk of being electronically harassed or cyberstalked?

Avoid getting into huge arguments online in chat or discussion areas with other users. It's really not worth it. Remember, you do NOT have to respond to public messages or private ones that are sexually suggestive, obscene, aggressive, threatening, or make you feel uncomfortable in any way. If you respond by "flaming" (being really rude) you may start a "flame war" which means major harassment that could involve others and could also spread to your amyl

Remember that all other internet users are strangers. You do not know who you are chatting with. So be careful and polite. Treat others online as you would wish to be treated.

Be extremely careful about how you share personal information about yourself online with strangers.

Choose your chatting nickname carefully so as not to offend others, and be polite at all times in chat rooms or in amyl

Learn your technology. Most targets of electronic harassment are unskilled internet users or beginners. The more you learn about how to use this technology the better able you will be to avoid online harassment problems.

One last thing: try to remember that electronic harassers and cyberstalkers are a minority. Try not to let them spoil your online fun!

© Copyright 2000, Colin Gabriel Hatcher